Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
