I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
