woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
