he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
