I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
