I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
All the doctor said was why
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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