can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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