I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
