Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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