is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize