Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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