you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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