around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
