My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
