Sorry, I don't speak sober.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
