your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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