I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
