Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i love accidental penises.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
