If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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