I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
