yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
