whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
