ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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