They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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