"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
