i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
