What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
