hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
