Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
