Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
