I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
