I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I could fuck to npr.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
