I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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