That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
