bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
