Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
