remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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