real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I have tasted many bathrooms
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
its liver damage thursday
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
