**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
