need another drink. this is the easiest way
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
