ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize