remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
