yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
