i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
