i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
