Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
