Even the bartender felt bad for me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His hands were made for my vagina.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
