you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
