I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
