I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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