did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize