I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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