Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
