Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
