am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I need a burrito and a hug.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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