from now on my penis is your penis
4 words: hood of his car
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
