Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
