i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I looked at my own cervix.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
