My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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