I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
