I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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