I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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