I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
